If You’re Silent, You’re Guilty: Take a Page from the Feminist Playbook and Register Your Complaint

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It was impressed upon me by a new mentor—who possesses a much more practical mind than mine—that I don’t want to still be writing about this stuff when I’m old and gray (and that, besides, if I keep trying to “make a difference” by myself, “old and gray” will be just around the corner).

What these statistics reflect is that (1) confusion about restraining orders, if not fraudulent abuse of restraining orders, is epidemic; and (2) complainants of procedural abuses are intimidated into silence. No one wants to own humiliating or demonizing accusations against him or her, even if they’re false. This is, perhaps ironically, why fraudulent abuse of process continues unabated: Too few people talk back, so no one in a position to reform the status quo realizes there’s a problem in need of urgent remedy.

In the week leading up to Friday the 13th, 2015, WordPress reports that over 3,000 people visited this site (a few of them probably the same people on different days, but nevertheless…). Of that 3,000-plus, maybe 20 left comments or responded to petitions this site links to.

Maybe.

To one of the people who did submit a comment, a woman who was charged with assaulting her husband because she inadvertently scratched his arm while she was appealing to him to be nicer to her (during a verbal attack), I remarked that more people need to speak up about what they’ve been put through.

This woman, Izabella, has a restraining order against her, based on “all sorts of allegations,” that she reports her husband got to dominate and control her (to bully her, plain and simple). She says he’s never been an “involved dad” but uses their children now to “blackmail” her, because she had the temerity to “stand up to him.” The kids are pawns in a petty power game.

This is the kind of thing feminists deny happens (and adamantly deny happens to men). They insist restraining orders are there to protect women like Izabella.

Feminists are often wrong but never uncertain.

Their rigid advocacy is actually what makes scenarios like this possible, and for that reason, among others, I seldom find cause to sing their praises (though I’m not closed to the idea). One of their constant refrains, however, that victims will only speak up if they feel confident they’ll be believed, is right (and it’s why restraining orders exist to begin with).

Victims of procedural abuses need to speak up so that others will.

Respondents to this blog don’t need to identify themselves; they don’t even have to provide their email addresses if they don’t want to, though that information isn’t made public and allows them to be notified of others’ responses to their comments. It also lets them have dialogues among themselves.

Provided everyone plays nice, this writer is glad to take a backseat. (He’s been informed that nothing anyone else says is his responsibility, anyway.)

“Outing” yourself isn’t necessary, per se, to motivate change. But the public only understands what it sees and hears. If it sees and hears nothing, then that’s exactly what it will understand.

Copyright © 2015 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com

16 thoughts on “If You’re Silent, You’re Guilty: Take a Page from the Feminist Playbook and Register Your Complaint”

  1. Don’t forget the a-hole attorneys who seem to get their jollies from filing TROs against innocent victims!An attorney who did just that to me, is:
    Office: Michael C. Guasco
    Phone: 1-510-267-3000
    Fax: 1-510-267-0117
    Email: mguasco@butycurliano.com

    This man is the lowest form or life. He knows he is destroying my life, right down to my very soul.There are lies and forgeries in the TRO, that lasts a monumental 2.5 years for writing emails to my doctor; that lasted around 2.5 years. He suggested I write to him. I did, and we had a friendly, relationship talking about books, writers, cooking, and weight loss tips.His wife heard about the emails (she is a doctor too) and began her many months of my torture. using a psychiatrist friend of hers.It got down to where the psychiatrist was monitoring my office visits with my doctor. She somehow forced him to treat me badly, so I would not want to be his patient any longer. She had my communications with him cut off. She claimed that I had PTSD, so she knew a sudden loss of a good friend would be devastating to me. A letter to me by security alluded to some kind of “inappropriate behavior” by me toward my doctor. I was frantic. I am shy and never approach someone without them making a gesture first. I tried to get answers from the Kaiser management, but the doctor’s wife has pull, and she obviously told them to not help me. So I wrote to the doctor, and asked him what they meant by “inappropriate behavior.” I got no response, I was really so upset, I cried and felt so terrible. Later, I realised that the psychiatrist had all the emails and voice mails funneled to herself, and my doctor never saw , or heard any of them.. Next thing I knew, the doctor, and the psychiatrist were attending a risk management meeting together, then I got into the Kaiser legal system, and eventually got a TRO. I was supposedly given the TRO for my voice mails and emails. But for one thing, the situation was manufactured and manipulated, and the other, since my doctor never saw, or heard the vms and emails; so he could not have been upset by them, or had them take up so much space that his “colleagues could not leave any messages”the basis for them as a reason against me, was false too. Anyway, who gets a TRO for asking what I did wrong, and apologising profusely if I had inadvertently done something?
    I remember accidentally hitting his leg once when we were looking at an antique medical book, and we laughed about something and I raised my hand up, and brought it back down, in a laughing gesture, and my hand touched his thigh. I am sure I apologised; but again, it was an obvious accident!
    I just found something that said I should ask for the statement that was given to the judge to get the TRO. It Must be something much worse than my writing emails and leaving voice mails. This has me intrigued…and a lot scared. I keep getting turned down by attorneys to take my case. I have no idea what is going on; but I have the feeling it has either to do with the plaintiff attorney contacting them and keeping them from accepting me; or there is something really bad, and a massive lie that was used to get a TRO from the judge. It had to all have been ex-parte. That is not justice!
    I also saw online that the TRO drops fairly quickly off; but mine is a 2.5 year TRO! They HAD asked for a 5 year protective order! That means a 5 year TRO! DOES ANYONE get those? In my response to the papers served; I only saw something that said I had given him gifts, and emails and voice mails, but there MUST be something more I am not seeing. I will go find out.
    The doctor is a big man. He is at least 6’4” and muscular! There is nothing I could ever do to him against his will! I know his wife made him show up in court, and that if he goes back now and says it was a lie; he will have lied to the court, and could be facing a felony(?) I cannot understand why/how anyone would try and save their skin at the peril of another human being who has done nothing to deserve it. The weird thing is that I think the wife is an abuser; so she gave a story that makes me out to be what she actually is herself. I am the scapegoat for HER sins!
    I did nothing wrong; yet the bad people go off free, and clear, and happy, while I suffer the injustice of the falsely accused. Recently, I was actually asked by a security guard; what business I had at my own Kaiser facility, where I have been a member for many years! I cannot go there without being treated like I am some dangerous threat to society?! Do you know how degrading, and humiliating that feels?I am a shy, self-deprecating cancer surviving widow with MS, and many other health issues; who goes to church to light candles for others, sends people I don’t even know money, so they can eat; yet am vilified and am the scourge of the health facility where I have long gone for my healthcare!

    I am also a survivor of kidnapping an molestation! So being lumped in with people who are thought of as the worst of society, for invating the personal space of others; hurts me to the bone! The psychiatrist know all of this about me; yet thought it would be sadistic fun to have me be looked at as a disgusting person! I AM A VICTIM OF VIOLENT CRIME, YET THEY THINK IT IS SO AMUSING TO PUT ME IN THE SAME CATAGORY! LIKE MT LIFE HASN’T BEEN HELL ENOUGH! THESE ARE CRUEL, EVIL, SADISTIC PEOPLE, WHO ARE SO SELFISH THAT THEY THINK ONLY THEY MATTER IN THIS WORLD! THINK AGAIN! I AM ANGRY! BUT, THEY TELL ME THAT BECAUSE I HAVE A TRO, THAT I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE ANGRY! WHAT NEXT? WHAT ELSE CAN THEY DO TO DENIGRATE ME? BLIND ME< CUT OFF MY ABILITY TO BREATHE? THEY ARE THE CRIMINALS, YET HERE I AM, THE PARIAH! THAT IS NOT JUSTICE!

    I even contacted the executive Vice President for Kaiser, Mark Zemelman, to tell him my story. I asked him to please look into it; to please help me; nothing! Kaiser does not care if their facility is used as a place for the lies and torture of their patients. Doctors have shown me great disdain, ER staff make snide remarks. I even tried to tell my story to the County Supervisor, Dave Pine, but I think he is taking the side of the liars, because after all: they are wealthy and powerful, and "could not possibly lie and make up a fake situation that involves lying to the court!" Hell, I am a valuable person too! We ALL are valuable! I even offered to never say anything in exchange for my freedom! NO DEAL! It seems they got themselves in so deep with a lie; that they could not possibly allow me to have my freedom! Which also means that when the 2.5 years is up; they most likely will renew it; and leave me permanently in a life of HELL; just so some spoiled, abusive, Kaiser female neurosurgeon, can go on abusing her husband in secret; while the person who could help him feel less like a Stockholm Syndrome victim, has been legally bound to stay away from him!
    Please! Help me get justice!

    The attorney for the "Plaintiff," hands out TROs to many undeserving people; even to a man who is a QUADRIPLEGIC! That poor man LIVES EACH DAY IN HELL, YET THIS ATTORNEY, WHO LIES TO THE COURT, WANTS TO MAKE THE MAN'S LIFE JUST THAT MUCH MORE HELLISH! THAT IS EVIL WALKING AMONST US IN THE FORM OF ATTORNEY MIKE GUASCO!

    WE NEED TO STOP HIS CRUEL, UNCONSCIONABLE ACTS USING THE LEGAL SYSTEM!

    TELL HIM TO STOP! NOW!

    Thank you,
    Cheryl

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    2. It hasn’t escaped my attention that the most vehement critics of this system and defenders of the Constitution are Russians or the children of people who lived in Soviet-run countries or had to flee from persecution: Cathy Young (Russian), Eugene Volokh (Ukranian), Alex Kozinski (Romanian).

      Petrovich has to fall in there somewhere. If you’d like to post here, Cheryl, you’re welcome to. I’ve faced the same kind of attorney. Guys like this lie freely, and it works, because as “officers of the court” they’re trusted to be “honorable.”

      Read THIS. It’s about an “indefinite temporary” restraining order that’s been used to “PERMANENTLY PROHIBIT” a host of actions as well as have man arrested half a dozen times and jailed twice. The man’s in jail now.

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  2. Btw- if anyone can help me, feel free contact me directly at anitak2014@comcast.net. I would b indebted to anyone who can advise me or point me in the right direction. . . no one cares and every single one of my rights have been violated. . . please. Maria C

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  3. Here is my tragic tale. . . I am a 46 year old girl in NJ in desperate need of help or I’m scared I’m not going to make it much longer as my own mother, yes my own mother, perjured herself and filed a bogus TRO on me back in July, 2015. If that didn’t rip my heart out and devastate me enough, it turned out to b a conspiracy by her and her son from her first marriage to evict me from my deceased father’s home so they could sell it right out from under me. . . oh but it gets so so so much worse. I was served this TRO while in the confines of a hospital an half and a half away from my mother. . . we live in NJ and I was up north and she was down the shore for the holiday weekend. . . I suffer from a neurological disorder called cluster headaches and am not able to even drive making it even more ludicrous that I would b in fact a threat to anyone, especially an hour and a half away. Her TRO stated that I stated I was going to come down the shore and physically harm her. . . never happened. Never even spoke to her. No texts. No emails. No voicemail. It also stated I have a history of mental illness. . . really?? Perjury . . . seriously?? My mother goes to church everyday. . . my heart was broken. . . but they didn’t stop there. When I was discharged from the hospital, I went to the police department to get back into my home and on 3 separate occasions waited over 3 hours as they tried to contact her to let me get back into my home. . . she never returned the officers calls, never allowing me access to ANY of my belongings. Cell phones. Pocketbook. Computers. Files. Clothes. Jewlery. Glasses. Medication. Nothing. The next time I went back to the police station to file a complaint, I was arrested and detained for hours, handcuffed to a desk, fingerprinted, photographed, all for a warrant that NEVER existed. . . oops so sorry. . . even given a ticket for driving even though I wasn’t driving. . . my friend drove me there. Insanity. . . needless to say, I never received a chance to file my complaint. . . the tragedy continues. Now I’m homeless. Abandoned by entire family. My name blemished forever. Credit ruined as I had no access to my credit cards, computers, cell phones, or laptops. . . I’m literally on the street. I’m crashing at a friend’s house just waiting for the FRO hearing as I know it will b dismissed as they have not one ounce or shred of proof I was or am any threat to anyone. . . I relish in facing my mother and looking her in the eyes and watching her actually commit perjury right in front of me. . . however as fate prevails, her son hires one of his college buddies as their attorney and this woman is as unethical and deceitful as my family. But I still wasn’t worried. . they had no proof. The day of the FRO arrives and I get hit with one of the worst cluster attacks in years. . . I can’t even open my eyes. . think migraine. . . times infinity. . . I call the court clerk and beg n plead for an adjournment. She states only if my doctor faxes over a note within an hour. . . now my neurologist doesn’t take insurance. . . n since I’m now financially ruined, let’s just say, I wasn’t his top priority. . . he didn’t even return my call until after 12pm. The FRO was granted by default. . . .I had 90 days to remove all my belongings from my home. Their attorney would not grant me entry. She gave me the run around. Then I find out all my belongings were moved to Newark, NJ to one of my mother’s rental properties garages. I filed a motion with the court for a modification. They appointed me a mediator. He was useless. Never returned my calls. Couldn’t b bothered. I asked my mother’s lawyer if I could bring movers to the garage to get an estimate, she said it was up to the courts, after calling the court mediator three times a week for approx. 3 weeks in December, he gets back to me the first week in January explaining, it was never up to the courts, it was always up the plantiff. . . this lawyer directly n premeditatedly lied to me n I have it in writing. Then he told me there was nothing else the courts could do for me. You need to understand since July, all I have is one pair of shorts, flip flops, a tee shirt, n a baseball cap. . . no coats. No shoes. No boots. Nothing. My family knows if I ascertain my belongings I would have access to money to hire legal counsel n fight back. .. This was a very well planned eviction. My father’s home was sold in three months. N I’m homeless. Financially ruined. Credit shot. Name n reputation tarnished. Ostracized by my entire family and they will not even let me have access to my things. . . no one will help me because I’m technically the defendant. Noone. I’m disabled. Very sick. No transportation and stuck in Warren county, NJ. No access to filing motions. . . no access or funds for lawyers. They destroyed me. . .all for money. And they are not stopping, they are still accusing me of vandalism. . . and violating the restraining order. . .but can not prove it, but this bull dog attorney keeps writing the judge fabricating more lies about me. . . lies upon lies. . . n the judge keeps blowing her off stating if you had proof, file the proper motions. . . they are just trying to harass me continually. I’m literally losing my mind. . . cuz to b quite candid. . .that’s all I have left. . .they took everything else. As if the betrayal wasn’t hard enough to emotionally deal with for the duration of my life, the lies, purgery, and stealing all of my belongings n leaving me for dead on the street is just too much at this point. . . I have reached out to every organization and legal service in the state of NJ literally begging for help. . .n no one will help me. I’m literally ready to give up. . . they won’t stop until I’m dead. . . they took everything from me. .. Now they r just waiting for my body so they can identify it. . .n trust me I’m no drama queen. . . n I’m not looking for any pity. . . I just can’t believe that it’s that easy to absolutely destroy someones entire life and depict them out to b a criminal with absolutely not one shred of evidence.. . n here I sit. . . homeless, no food, no money, no clothes, no dignity, no reputation.. . they took everything. . . n that’s justice. . . the court clerk was kind enough however to mail me a copy of a motion to vacate the restraining order, but I do not possess the legal acumen to even try to fill it out against her lawyer. . . he also stated I should file a civil suit in Essex county as they r holding my belongings in Newark, NJ. . . however I explained to him. I have no car. No transportation. I have no idea how to even file a civil suit in regards to these extenuating circumstances. . . he strongly suggested I retain counsel. . . n hung up. What part of they stole every last penny I had didn’t he comprehend?? I’m still waiting for my measly state general assistance to kick back in and did I mention my husband who I have been trying to divorce for over three years now owes me over 180,000 in back alimony, n probation won’t or can’t even violate him becuz he just keeps failing bogus motions. . .justice?? Is there such a thing?? Or is it just in the state of NJ?? Did I mention when I was in the hospital, n I was served with this bogus TRO, they sent the police to my home to remove my 3 dogs n signed them over to the state to b adopted out or euthanized at their discretion?? For that alone, I need help desperately. . .I did manage to bail them out of the pound the moment I was discharged from the hospital. . . it wasn’t easy though. . . now I just can’t feed them. . . or myself. . . because I was an impediment . . . disposable as Monday night trash. .. Stripped of everything n left for dead. . . please tell me there is something I can do. . .. I am on the brink of losing it . . n I’m hanging on by such a short string already. . .please if anyone knows any thing I can do, I am begging from the bottom of my heart for any help, advice, or guidance. . .its just not fair. . .

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  5. 11/13/2015 wife lied to judge an was permitted an orp on me, I have not done any wrong. She attacked me after creating an environment conducive to domestic violence,realized she committed said domestic violance…..anyway I will be revisiting this comment later with more detail later for your interest. Classic RO abuse,from Arizona….Les

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    1. Les, in Arizona an appellant has the entire duration of the protection order during which to request a hearing (Google protection order law + Arizona and familiarize yourself with the statute). So if you haven’t already requested an audience with a judge, take your time and develop your defense (and get a lawyer on board if possible). Also, strike when you think your accuser will least expect it or be at the greatest disadvantage. If you know she intends to move, especially out of state, wait until she does. Or file during a time when you think she’ll be otherwise preoccupied, for example, with family or another important matter. If you show up for court, and she doesn’t, the court may simply dismiss the order. When you’re ready to act, you just mail a letter to the courthouse requesting a hearing. I believe the court needs to respond within 10 days, and the hearing is usually a week or two later. Be strategic.

      If you already requested a hearing and it went against you, your appeal to the superior court should address the judge’s conduct, because the standard for an appellate ruling is “clear abuse of discretion” by the trial judge. The court won’t rehear your evidence from scratch. Also consider filing a Motion for Oral Argument so you can address the appellate judge in person, and s/he can see who you are and what you’re like.

      FYI: https://restrainingorderabuse.com/2014/10/17/sue-first-appeal-later-a-thought-on-defending-yourself-against-a-false-restraining-order-in-arizona/

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      1. How do I find my old posts from may, so I can ask a few questions from there instead of going through my entire ordeal again. I’ve been in appeals.

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  6. I filed for divorce and received a three year Restraining Order for my daughter and I against my husband. We lived through horrific mental and physical abuse. Then I found out he was a sex addict and had started to touch our daughter inappropriately. Since I filed for divorce, Nov. 26, 2012 and received our Restraining Order on Jan.8, 2013, Mark has filed nine (9) unsuccessful restraining orders against me. Each time, he goes in Ex Parte without notifying my counsel and he fails to attached my Restraining Order as required by the court. He goes in when our regular judge has another hearing or is absent, so he is seen by another judge who knows nothing about our case. He receives the TRO, but at the Restraining Order hearing his false story never holds up and his attempt is dropped. In addition, our court docket is at 167 hearings and 280 Register of Actions. He has broke our Restraining Order over 200 times and I have over 40 sheriff reports. He had me falsely arrested for Grand Theft and I had to spend three days in jail. The District Attorney dropped all the charges against me. He has tried to arrest me 41 times. No one holds him accountable. How could the judicial system let this happen?

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  7. Omg this just wrecked my week. I was hoping to get this girl this time. Ok so my wife is going through a workers comp settlement case and after about 6 monthssomething starts happening. Not alot of money but a chunck of change. Well she sends me a message she is offered $7,500. Thats all i hear. I talk to her that night and she says her and the attorney rejected it. So about a month goes by and i hear nothing about the case so i ask. “Whats up with your comp case” she says “i dont know havent heard from the attorney”. Another couple weeks the same response. And again and again. So then she says “what makes you think im getting anything back”? Bing red flag. “Well you dont turn money down to get nothing”. This isnt lets make a deal, small arguement started so i let it lie. Easter this year we rented a cabin at pine mountian lake. Loaded the kids the 525i and headed out. Its an hour and a half drive from the valley no big deal typical mountian driving static on the radio, so i ask about the settlement. Still she denies knowledge of anything. Weekend passes i have work monday, wife and kids want to stay and visit longer with grandma. Wifes mother a rather wicked woman. I was happy to be leaving. I drive home a couple days pass and there is a letter in the mail from the wifes comp attorney. Stating she is getting $12,000. In this comp case. Wife is due back today, so i throw the letter back in the box and head out to work. Get home that night and ask the wife “did we get any mail” “nope” she responds. “Havent heard frome your attorney” “nope” well you know where this is going. I played the same question game two more days and that was enough, i told her i had read the letter and how could she be so low as to lie and decieve me. Much bigger arguement than the first. I told her i wanted her out of the house and that it was over for us. So she left, swooped up my kids and vanished for three weeks came back with a restraining order stating she was afraid for her life that i might beat her up and rape her. Wow are you kidding me? She is broke no where to go now i have to leave my house. I have an addition to my house that has a pool table a bar and a full 5 peice rock band setup. Plus a large bed room and bath. When i left i locked it all up. I had changed the locks to that portion of the house while she was gone. Packed what i could in the suburban and went to moms. Mad as hell. Next day dropped 5k on an attorneys desk and chatted with her a bit. Two weeks later after the wife got the divorce papers going we go to court, so i can contest this TRO. The judge allows me to return to my home but not the house portion, she and the kids get that. Im confined to the back where the bar is. All the locks changed. After she broke the first it was just a matter of some twisting screws with a screwdriver. Things gone through, things missing, and i cant say a word about it or she call the cops and i go to jail. Its going on 4 months now. She wont leave she has no money. She is waiting for the divorce to be final so she can see what she gets for spousal and child support. She is collecting government assistance paying no bills and making my life hell. She has ruined us financially, destroyed our family, turned my kids against me, which i only get to see from 10am to 7 pm on saturday. We have an after hearing trial sept 14th. We went to mediation and i disagreed with her terms for custody. So yeah guys if you think you have it bad it could be worse. I have been recording her comming back here arguing with me. On the servailence cameras. I have audio of her fits she throws. And letters she writes saying how much she loves me. My life sucks. She has broke into my room. Coached my 14 yr old how to break into my room at 1:30 am while im sitting at the bar filling out my income and expense declaration. Watching on the monitor. I texted her what do you think the judge is going to say about this one? She denied it all of course. She has my 11yr old little girl recording our conversations the one day i get to see her. So hmmmm what to do? I gave her a 30 day notice. Didnt budge. Unlawful detainer, didnt budge judge dismissed it. And people wonder why some men snap. Way i see it every dog has its day mine is hopefully comming up. I would like to get her some new braceletts before its all over. Some real shiney Smith & Wesson matching braceletts. Any help would be welcomed? Ideas, good shrink, home labotamy kit (for myself of course). Yeah and this was the woman i loved dearly. Thanks God bless

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  8. But what we need is to approach legislators and get the laws changed. I think protective orders when needed are a good thing but punishments should be enforced for lying to obtain protective orders.

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    1. I think you’re right. People are just so uncertain and demoralized that it’s next to impossible to get them to come forward. Yesterday at 8:30 my time, about 400 people had visited this blog, and views were over 800. Comments were four (including yours). I have to be honest, and from what I know (having written some letters) and from what’s been reported by others, it’s hard to even get a personal response from a state rep. A couple people report they have, one of them a woman (Betty Krachey) who was exonerated in court. She has legitimacy, because the court ultimately ruled in her favor. People the court has ruled against—who may be no less innocent of the accusations against them—are suspect complainants. Legislators have literally eaten out of feminist advocates’ hands for 20 years or more and approved the investment of billions of dollars toward the “aggressive arrest policies” and “judicial training” that have made abuses of the system so easy. It’s hoped that blogs like this and petitions like the ones it links to are sometimes heeded by people of influence. Feminist excesses have also come under fire in the last six months.

      https://restrainingorderabuse.com/2015/01/02/trapped-bettys-story-of-restraining-order-abuse/

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  9. My Ex was so pissed at me for asking for a divorce she tried three times with three different stories (each time having rehearsed the magic BUZZ words.) to get a final restraining order and long behold the third was the lucky number. We were assigned a judge who had a reputation for handing restraining orders like candy at Halloween… funny how that happened. He heard all of the testimony from my side and hers which included two unsubstantiated lies from the past, (married 21 years) about two “incidents” that never happened- one I supposedly choked her and she didn’t report it or tell anyone including her friends and two I supposedly told her I would “kill” her with no witnesses or friends or relatives who could remember being told of the indecent, nor did she mention them in the first two failed attempts to get the R.O..

    I appealed in NJ supreme court and they sent it back to the original judge for “clarification” because the transcript had the recorded spoken testimony from both of us with both stories, this was one version, The judges summery prior to granting the restraining order was a second story (off base from the case as testified and documented in the Transcript. hence the request for clarification, and the “clarification” given to the supreme court, which was now a third and final story which tended to incorporate bits from both prior stories and new undocumented information with a totally new summery upholding his original ruling and the supreme court denied my appeal. I have tried in several different way to try and pull this back onto the floor to have the case reheard to no avail… I have been saddled with this order for eight years and it has cost me a world of issues and money, not to mention my kids hated me from the day the final R.O. was granted and my EX went home from court exclaiming “see your father wanted to kill me”. I need to know how to re-challenge this case and have it brought back to court…

    ALL the animals who do abuse women have created this situation for me and it’s not fare for guys like me who are victims of the abuse of this law based on hearsay, not proof or evidence. A sickening situation, a mockery of justice and someday will weaken a law that is in place to protect. Very sad.

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    1. The law is bad and needs to be revamped. It’s not just the “animals who do abuse women” who’ve created this situation but advocates who’ve campaigned to widen definitions of abuse while at the same time effectively making accusation = fact.

      The pretense is that people are prosecuted for inflicting black eyes, but people are criminalized based on innuendo and suspicion. Because no statutory limit is placed on how many times a false accuser can file petitions with the court, the system basically authorizes a cheap criminal education. Lie once and see how it goes. Lie again, learn a little better how to manipulate the system. Lie a third time…score!

      Some people do this many more times than three, and they don’t rest on their laurels if they succeed. A dedicated accuser can cost someone everything. A man who wrote not long ago is a doctor and a lawyer who was fingered by his brother. The brother now has his Porsche, and the man says he’s living “like a hamster.”

      The only possible conclusions are that (1) the court is too inept to perceive the obvious, or (2) that it doesn’t care. Neither conclusion is very flattering.

      I’m sorry for your torment. It’s very rare that the accused are even able to resist allegations as determinedly as you have. I can imagine your devastation upon having that come to nothing.

      Has your ex made false claims to others? Attacking perjury is futile. But if you could expose statements your ex has made to others as false/defamatory, this might be grounds for a civil suit. Witnesses could be enlisted or subpoenaed. Consider Facebook postings, texts, emails, reports you’ve gotten from third parties, etc. Consult with a lawyer, obviously, but it may be the case that even if you have strong grounds to suspect lies have been told to people you could call to testify that those people wouldn’t be as invested in lying to the court as your ex is. Most people are leery of lying under oath, especially if they’ve been subpoenaed. Also, these people wouldn’t know what lies to tell even if they wanted to hurt you (Do I say she said this? Do I deny it?). If different people’s testimony (even if apparently damaging) conflicted—she said X to this one and Y to that one—this would be revealing in itself. That’s how a trial lawyer who’s gifted at cross-examination can break apart a knot like this. This is the only “side door” that comes to mind. If you could establish a pattern of lying/deceit, then other torts could come into play like infliction of emotional distress, false light, and malicious prosecution, and recovery of monetary losses might be realizable.

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