The Potency of Restraining Orders to Destroy

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“Few lives, if any, have been saved, but much harm, and possibly loss of lives, has come from the issuance of restraining orders.”

—Justice Milton Raphaelson (upon his retirement)

As shields to deflect fists or bullets, court injunctions are no more effective than the paper they’re printed on. When they’re taken out for the purpose for which they were enacted—which they are about 20% of the time—they may even turn volatile situations into tragic ones, making the protection they afford iffy at best (to paraphrase Judge Raphaelson: trusting in them may get their applicants killed).

As instruments of malice, however, they can’t be beat.

Consider: The best you can hope for from a thug is that he’ll intimidate the target of your wrath (and maybe break an arm or a leg). Besides having to pay him, you hazard the possibility that he’ll brace you for hush money or rat you out and get you thrown in jail. The risk-to-benefit ratio isn’t favorable.

Swearing out a false restraining order fraudulently alleging violence or fear of violence has substantially more to recommend it:

  1. It’s quick, easy, and painless (half an hour, tops);
  2. You shame your victim and permanently foul his public record;
  3. You get the nanny state to intimidate him for you;
  4. You may induce him to get himself arrested and fired from his job if you can rile him sufficiently with a few well-honed aspersions;
  5. And if he’s someone you share a home with, you can claim his property, custody of children and pets, and possession of the house to boot (he could even end up living out of garbage cans in a cardboard box).

This alternative neither risks nor costs you a thing—it’s all covered by the taxpayer—and you have the full and sympathetic support of the court and, by its mandate, the police.

A deal this good should be criminal. No, really.

Copyright © 2012 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com

9 thoughts on “The Potency of Restraining Orders to Destroy”

  1. I had a false protection order against me. My girlfriend asked me to marry her and have a child. I loved this woman dearly and said yes. I didn’t realize she stopped taking birth control right away. 6 months pregnant with our child she tells me she has still been seeing her ex and I need to deal with it. This woman even told my parents the same thing, deal with it. After our daughter was born she left for weeks at end to go to her “parents.” I never even so much as called this woman a bitch. She tried to throw me out of the house. I called the police and they told her she had to go through proper eviction process. She told the police there would be no more problems. 2 days later she is in front of a judge under oath and stated she has been in fear for life the last 10 months. Never once did she mention violence to the police 2 days earlier. Welcome to Lake County, Il. Once more, she obtained the PO in the morning, let me pick up my daughter to take her to see my parents, she then had her DAD show up with the police to take my daughter away from me in front of my parents. I was told by the police I can’t go home for 21 days, and after the 21 days I was homeless because that is what the attorneys worked out. She dropped the PO and I agreed to never go back. I lost my daughter, my home, and my job. This whole ordeal has torn my family apart. I have retained a retired judge to represent me and that isn’t even turning out the way I expected. This woman is under the care of several doctors and on multiple medications. She has even lied to the judge in court. I have an attorney willing to be a witness as to the perjury. I also have this attorney cooperating with the ARDC as to the false allegations against me. I have a police report that states she doesn’t care what a court order says. She denied giving me my daughter on my weekend visit. Do you think I can get all of this in front of Judge U***a? The judge that is going to decisions concerning my daughter, don’t you think the judge should know all the facts? I guess that’s not how it’s done here. This happened to me Sept. 16, 2011 and I’m not sure I will ever fully recover from this. I’m 48 years old and living with my parents until I can establish a residence, but how do I do that paying child support and legal fees? I never thought I could be so stupid.

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    1. I’m sorry this is happening to you, Jeff. It doesn’t sound like you have anything to reproach yourself for, though. Storytellers can be very convincing. That’s the problem with psychopathology and the system. Mental illness isn’t easily perceived, the mentally ill person is completely unpredictable (probably even to herself), there’s no qualifying her disease unless you have a psych eval or can afford to employ a professional psychologist to testify for you, and everyone who hears loaded words like fear and violence are going to react to them by reflex. You may see some attention from the court since there’s a child involved. Emphasize your daughter’s welfare. Courts are more responsive to parental shenanigans when a child’s well-being is at stake. If you have the opportunity to appear before a judge (face-to-face stands you the best chance of being listened to), absolutely take it and emphasize that this is a fraud (malicious prosecution/abuse of process). Defending your character is fine (especially if you can get some people to give character testimony), but speak to the allegations and their utter falsity. Judges ignore that there are any number of compelling reasons for women to falsely claim fear (as if judges are strangers to being lied to). You could, of course, sue her. This is hard at best, expensive and hard at worst, and who knows what further stress it would cause your daughter. If I can help or advise you based on anything I know, don’t hesitate to drop me a line. Hang in there.

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      1. Good morning, Todd.

        Thank you for taking time to respond to my email. I have a retired judge handling my case. I am suing my ex for abuse of process/malicious prosecution. I just found out that now she is living with the godfather of our child. Someone I used to call my friend. I drove by the house just to check what was really happening considering I can’t get the truth from my ex. Just when I thought this woman couldn’t hurt me deeper, I was wrong. The judge took my case for a very reasonable $500.00. 25% of whatever I am awarded. If anything. I think this blog wiill be very helpful and maybe a little healing as well. Have a great day, Sir.

        Jeffrey K. Larson

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    2. Jeff
      I too am a victim of a false order of protection and have the same judge. My story is an unbelievable loss of rights with no possible outcome of justice. As I am fearful that publicly telling my story would result in retribution from the judge, I must stay quiet until after I can get out of the court system.

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  2. I have recently joined the membership in this WRONGLY ACCUSED restraining order community and everything I’ve learned about issuance of such is very disheartening. How I can be issued a temporary domestic restraining order by a man I was involved with 30 years ago (just check that box that you had a relationship with the defendant, no questions asked, even if it was 30 years prior), who lives 500 miles from me, a man that I’ve seen at class reunions twice in 25 years, who is a convicted felon and still facing charges for one of the biggest real estate frauds in California, who was the one to threaten ME… it’s beyond comprehension to me.

    $2,500 later (so far) and eagerly awaiting my hearing on Tuesday, April 3, I shake my head in disgust. Disgust for our system that I could even be accused of domestic violence when my entire existence is to volunteer for causes such as animal rescue, organ donation, and hospice care. Disgust that so many are also accused based on (mostly) jilted angry, bitter females seeking revenge, and sadness that the ones that suffer the most are the innocent children caught in the crossfire.

    Having a (false) DVRO against me will mean I can’t hold many volunteer positions in which I can make a difference. However, it will not stop me from working on reform for the issuance of restraining orders. Regardless of the outcome of my case, I will always be a member in this club nobody wants to join. Once in this club, there’s no going back. Admittance by the swipe of pen based on nothing. My mistake? Not filing a RO first as I actually was being threatened by said convict and his convict wife. I thank Chuck and Virley for their lies and attempted vindication, as now I can direct some of my passion to helping those who are also wrongly accused.

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    1. Never mistake a bulldog for a Chihuahua! I think you’ll clean their clocks, but I’m selfishly glad to have you rallying for change. A lot of women are victimized by this process or are the spouses, mothers, or girlfriends of men who are: http://www.petition2congress.com/1627/stop-false-allegations-domestic-violence. (Sign this, Annie, when you have a chance. I put up a petition of my own, but I think it’s gotten like all of 15 signatures. This one has added about a 1,000 just since I began this blog. You won’t get anything in return except a boilerplate email from your district rep, but having a document like this out there to point to has value.) I think if more women spoke out, the press and people in positions of influence would prick up their ears.

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    1. I actually wrote to David Letterman when I first put this blog up to see if he’d take an interest in pressing for restraining order reform (care of the TV station mailbag—who knows if he got the email). Maybe he did and just wants to leave this behind him. Any stance you take on these issues is bound to alienate a segment of your audience. The National Organization of Women would probably ream him publicly and get its followers to boycott his network!

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