To encourage abused women to seek help, feminist defenders of the rules governing the issuance of restraining orders argue that applicants’ burden of proof must be minimal. The professed intent of these advocates, namely, to fight gender discrimination, in fact promotes it. Courts rubberstamp hundreds of thousands of restraining orders against men every year based on female petitioners’ merely alleging fearfulness or harassment.
The restraining order is an ex parte judicial instrument, which means only one side or party needs be heard from. Due process is suspended: no evidentiary hearings, no free counsel if you can’t afford your own, no presumption of innocence, no trial by jury—though violating a restraining order will land you in jail, possibly even if you haven’t been notified of its existence.
And the standard of proof is contemptible.
Late Show host David Letterman was famously served with a restraining order petitioned in New Mexico by a Santa Fe woman he hadn’t the least acquaintance with who lived thousands of miles away from him (Letterman lives in Connecticut and works in New York). Among her allegations were that Letterman had caused her years of mental anguish and sleep deprivation by using coded innuendo and gestures on TV that were directed at her and that had oppressive implications. (Apparently it never occurred to her not to tune in to his show each night.) Letterman’s attorneys succeeded in having the order quashed. When asked later why he’d approved the order in the first place, the judge replied that the woman had filled the paperwork out correctly.
This case only reached public awareness because it involved a celebrity. Many of the millions of restraining orders approved each year against men may issue from grounds nearly as farcical.
As any attorney will tell you (and would have told you 10, 15, or even 20 years ago), it’s a cakewalk for a woman to find a judge who’ll rubberstamp an application for a restraining order. (If one judge refuses to grant her request, she can always shop around until she finds another who will.) These instruments are dispensed like kleenex. Herein lies the obscenity. When this process is abused—which may be routinely—it can derail lives.
The usual safeguards against false and even patently ludicrous allegations are suspended, and judges don’t care. Heinous allegations that may never even be litigated in a courtroom become publicly validated by a judge’s signature and incorporated into a person’s record, often permanently.
In many states—Arizona, for example—a restraining order remains on a person’s record until he is dead, and no remedy exists to remove the stain once it has set if the person who petitioned the order is unwilling to cooperate in its vacation (erasure).
In fact, even death is no guarantee that false allegations will dissolve.
Copyright © 2011 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com
TALKING BACK to restraining orders 
i am prohibited from going to my home. am unable to go by to even check on my property. my estranged wife has a son who is a herion user. he has stolen my 22 cal rifle, and sold it. she bought it back when she found out what he did. then took steps to remove me before I had a chance to persue the drug sales, thefts and use of drugs by her son. They [her children and their mother] are professionals at using the “legal ” system. She has contacted my family and questioned them on what they think I would do. I finally had to remove a car registered to me, since she occasionally let her son use it. I had to have police represent me to obtain the car regestered and owned by me. If her son was picked up in the car w drugs, in NY i would lose the auto, still have to pay for it, and they wouldn’t care, it would cost them nothing. She states I was stalking, even when the only time I have been there before the restraining order/order of protection, was by invitation. It was on the 20th of Dec. 2012 will be one of the most memorable Christmases in memory. Boy Scouts from Cub Scouts (Weblos) A sergeant in the US Army.(top secret sucurity clearance, former school board presidant,Art director for a plastics company, Cartoonist for a local paper for years. Written up for saving our little village in an editorial. Now…Lies and more….guilty until proven innocent. (and living on the good graces of my younger sister, I’m homeless. Her sons and my estraqnged wife live in a home it took me 4 years to remodel. I’m 66, had 6 back operations and a heart valve transplant. In stage 3 of kidney failure, never drank nor smoked. I’m terminal. I won’t live long enough to see this through. Just now realizing all people aren’t nice. But still hope there is some hope. Peter E Tholl 71 S judson st Gloversville (former) 31 Hyde Blvd. Ballston Spa NY (present)
LikeLike
I’m sorry, Peter. I hope you achieve a measure of justice. Don’t let this shorten your life. Definitely get an attorney. An attorney can turn what you’ve said into a persuasive defense. Apply for an appeals hearing, obviously. And, brother, when you go to that hearing, do it in a wheelchair dragging an oxygen tank behind you! This process is all about theatrics. Best wishes, Peter.
LikeLike
Absolutely write again if I can advise you further. First thing Wednesday, you’ll want to call or write to the courthouse and request a hearing if a hearing date isn’t automatically assigned to you. You’re also going to want to call lawyers.
Email me at the address in the right margin if you want, Peter (you can always open a new email account that you’re ex-wife can’t access).
I’ll try to remember to call you Wednesday and make sure you’re okay.
LikeLike
Emailed from Suzanne Venker, coauthor of The Flipside of Feminism:
Thanks, Todd!
This is such an important subject, and I do believe it will continue to get more and more attention. My goal right now is to expose the movement that caused these injustices. That alone is going to take a while 🙂
Suzanne Venker
http://www.suzannevenker.com
LikeLike