This blog received six comments on January 11 from an intrepidly anonymous Southern belle troll who would probably say she loves Jesus with the same mouth that formulated the word “shitposts.”

I guess she was hoping I would leap in feet first, but I just noticed her drivel this week.

To borrow from Robert B. Parker, she seems like someone who’s “often wrong but never uncertain.”

The woman was brave enough to transmit her bile without disguising her IP address. So there’s that to say for her. Also, while her grammar isn’t great, she did invest the time to spellcheck. And she used the word nonrenewable, which has five syllables.

I don’t get the impression the heckler was my accuser, Tiffany Bredfeldt, playing a role, though that wouldn’t be unlike her to do. I was in court with her for 12 years, and most of her testimony was a vile masquerade.

More likely the heckler is someone who knows Bredfeldt or is related to her, a puppet. Obviously she was fed a narrative. The weirdness of it could only have come from Bredfeldt’s developmentally arrested brain.

I’m republishing the woman’s comments because I’ve learned Bredfeldt has a new corporate employer, Kimberly-Clark. I mentioned its head of HR, Sandi Karrmann, in a post about it. Someone like Mrs. Karrmann might be interested to know what kind of person a supporter of Tiffany Bredfeldt is.

My heckler’s last comment, submitted the day after her six-remark upchuck, calls me a “LIAR who stalks people online,” which is droll, because I’m positive Tiffany Bredfeldt has attempted dozens of times over the past year to invite me to get in touch with her in violation of a court order. The method is too freaky to try to explain, but that is stalking. Using Google to confirm facts is just responsible reportage.

Here, unaltered, are the heckler’s astutely drawn conclusions concerning events that have exerted a toxic influence on my life and my family’s lives for two decades:

11:50 a.m. (whether my time or hers, I’m not sure):

What does this blog say about YOU? Take a look in the mirror. You’ve basically spent the last 20 years stalking someone online and shitposting here. Anyone can lie on the Internet. You’re not special. But you chose to spend your only non-renewable resource- your time- desperate for crumbs of information about someone that you can twist to fit your narrative.

You sound miserable.

7:34 p.m. (a reworking of her first comment with some sophisticated embellishments):

What does this blog say about YOU?

Take a look in the mirror.

You have spent the last 20 years stalking someone online, and spewing your shitposts here…anyone can lie on the Internet. You’re not special. However, you have chosen to spend your only non-renewable resource, your time, desperately digging for crumbs of information about someone that could care less about you. It’s obvious you cannot see reality on reality’s terms, unable to let go of the past, and have a very twisted narrative of everything unfortunate enough to enter your world.

You sound miserable.

9:05 p.m.:

Just a heads up but you are all over the place and contradict yourself multiple times in your same blog. You said “You sick fuck” was said in an email by her mother, brother-in-law, and by your victim herself. Which was it? Get your lies straight, loser.

9:27 p.m.:

Lying on the Internet isn’t a special trick. You’re not special. YOU are the real compulsive liar.

9:31 p.m.:

All she has to say is “no”. She doesn’t owe you anything. Not an explanation, not a background, nothing. All that is sufficient is her saying “no” and if you had stopped, then none of the extra shit would have happened. The court docs clearly say that you continued to pressure her, that is beyond consent. Learn to listen to other people instead of carrying on with the crazy shit happening between your ears.

10:22 p.m.:

What I like about crazy people like you is that you aren’t afraid to advertise all your craziness online. Granted, you think you are making someone else look bad by posting clearly slanderous propaganda. But, in reality, you are showing how insane you are by taking the time to *try* to demerit someone. All of this is because your baby feelings got hurt by a little rejection. All of this is on you.

What I like about crazy people like her isn’t that they’re unafraid to advertise their craziness online; it’s that they’re too chickenshit to get caught doing it. What amuses me about them even more is that they seem to imagine this kind of “support” actually improves a liar’s credibility in the eyes of people with discriminating minds.

There’s no sense in rebutting all of the woman’s remarks. “Consent” was never an issue. The only parts of Tiffany Bredfeldt’s body I ever touched were her hands and her shoulder. All but one of these contacts was initiated by her. The only “pressure” I was accused of applying was demanding, in Bredfeldt’s words, “an explanation of sorts” (by email over a weekend). The allegation of pressure has at least some basis in reality, though. As they say in Arkansas, even a blind hog finds an acorn sometimes.

I appended a couple of brief videos to the post the heckler remarked on. My critic is urged to watch those instead of straining her intellect on digesting lots of words. She can leave some anonymous comments on the videos if she wants, but I’ll probably just delete those, too.

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*Maybe my crank caller should be excused. I’ve heard that in Arkansas people ditch their wedding rings for purely virtuous reasons…like raising money for girl scouts.