“You Don’t Send Me Flowers Anymore”: About the Revolving-Door Policy of the Restraining Order Process, Its Administration by Conveyor Belt, and Its Being Arguably Ridiculous

What’s legal when it comes to a restraining order against me? Can I send her flowers, legally?”

—Recent search term leading to this blog

The answer to the latter question is no. Sending flowers is a violation of a restraining order and grounds for arrest. “I Did Time for Calling FTD” would, however, be a great title for a feature story.

What these questions highlight are two very important facts, both of which are absurd and expose how mindlessly automated the restraining order process has become.

The first of these important facts is that the nanny state issues restraining orders carelessly, tactlessly, and callously. Their recipients are completely bewildered, and no one actually explains to them what a restraining order signifies, what its specific prohibitions are, or anything else. If a cop is involved, s/he may impress upon a restraining order recipient that the court’s order should be “taken very seriously.” (“What should be taken very seriously?” “The court’s order!”) That’s it. Not one person involved even inquires, for example, whether the restraining order recipient is sighted (as opposed to stone blind), mentally competent, or knows how to read. Restraining orders are casually dispensed (millions of them, each year) and then, unless they’re violated intentionally or accidentally (and motive doesn’t matter; the cops swoop in, regardless), they’re dispensed with: “NEXT!” “NEXT!” “NEXT!” It’s a revolving-door process that’s administered by conveyor belt but enforced  with rigorous menace. That’s the first important fact.

The second important fact is that someone can be jailed (incarcerated, locked up, put away) for sending flowers.

Copyright © 2014 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com

2 thoughts on ““You Don’t Send Me Flowers Anymore”: About the Revolving-Door Policy of the Restraining Order Process, Its Administration by Conveyor Belt, and Its Being Arguably Ridiculous

  1. normally, i emphasize with each and every post, however, just this title, sending flowers to your “attacker”, however this title begs the question of why? Why in the world would you want to send flowers? It seems co-dependent

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    1. These instruments are often sought impulsively, sometimes following something as stupid and harmless as a spat. They’re not always used tactically as part of a campaign to annihilate (siege warfare). They may just represent tantrum behavior. Outsiders who find this baffling don’t really get that these instruments are obtained in an afternoon or even in minutes.

      This is a search term that brought someone here today: “girl falsely put restraining order against me but keeps texting me.”

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