“TRO violation for inadvertent butt calls”- “I have a protective order against my husband to protect my children and myself. Can my children send a card to him?”
- “Protection order—does it apply to her as well?”
- “Can you say hello to someone with a restraining order?”
- “Back with my wife, and she has an order of protection”
- “My husband has a $50,000 bond for violating a restraining order twice. What can I do?”
- “Can he come to my daughter’s game if there is a restraining order in place?”
- “If someone has a restraining order but keeps talking”
—Search terms that recently led visitors to this blog
Violation of a restraining order is a crime: contempt of court. In some jurisdictions, this is a misdemeanor offense; in others, it can carry graver significance. Whatever your state’s laws, it can land you in jail.
With cell phones, accidentally calling someone is simple. It happens all the time. If you accidentally call someone you’ve been prohibited by an order of the court from contacting, this can be a big deal.
Email is also a problem. The plaintiff on the order may one of a number of correspondents you’re accustomed to emailing as a group. Service providers, like Google, may also automatically email regular correspondents of yours.
So may Facebook and related sites send messages automatically.
If you’ve been prohibited by court injunction from contacting someone, make sure that person and any minors covered by the order are deleted from your phone and email accounts, as well as your social media groups and any automated lists that would make you responsible for an inadvertent “contact.” Even some service that automatically sent an e-card or a fruit basket on a holiday or birthday could occasion your being dragged back into court. (If you pay for the plaintiff to get a “cigar of the month,” cancel the subscription.)
Perform a purge, and make sure the firewall has no holes.
You must also be wary of enticement, whether intentional or not. Typical advice is if the plaintiff on the order calls you, hang up immediately, log the contact, and if you have an attorney, let him or her know about it.
Any contact, no matter how harmless, can be grounds for further (possibly serious) legal consequences. Even a brief stint in jail can mean the loss of a job and/or a residence (if not a pet, a child, or a career).
Unless the order you’re under is a mutual no-contact order, the plaintiff’s actions are not restrained. S/he is not the one who will be held to blame for a violation of the order. You are. (Yes, that’s even if s/he calls and says, “I feel really terrible about all of this. Please come by and have a beer. I need to talk.”)
You can protest until you’re blue in the face that you were baited into violating the order, and chances are the prosecutor or judge is going to pronounce that you’re a big boy or girl and knew the consequences of your actions. Don’t expect an ounce of compassion. (If the plaintiff wants to renew relations with you, s/he can move the court to dismiss the order.)
Finally, for a thorough introduction to avoiding snares, see “A Temporary Restraining Order Has Been Filed Against Me. What Should I Do?” and “Restraining Order Abuse and Vexatious Litigation” on the blog Breaking the Glasses.
Copyright © 2015 RestrainingOrderAbuse.com
*Appearing among recent search terms surveyed for this post was this one: “Sex after a restraining order.” This writer’s thought? Dicey.
TALKING BACK to restraining orders 
Reblogged this on .
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I went to jail 3 times in 3 months for violating a restraining order my wife had placed against me. I was suicidal and couldn’t go to work it made me so sick. I wasn’t able to go home for 2 months even though she wasn’t living there. My bond on the third time was $300,000. She would not stop trying to trap me and I like a fool just kept falling for it.
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$300,000 bond? Jail 3 times in 3 months? There has to be a lot more to the story. People who get arrested on drug charges, burglaries, DUI’s, robberies, etc. don’t get that type of bond.
In what city and state did this happen?
As far as I am concerned, $300K bonds don’t just appear out of nowhere. There is clearly a lot more to the story than you have shared.
How does one even get tricked or trapped 3 times in 3 months?
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Michael Lake’s post sounds similar to my appeal. I am also attacking the Constitutionality of the OP (order of protection) and the state rules around it. There is nothing about the OP that is equitable or just in its use in my case and I pointed that out.
Incidentally, I just got a notice from the court yesterday. Says we have 10 days to respond if we want oral arguments. I do not. My case is all in print, all written down for all to see. That and I know how poorly I do in person (an emotional topic for sure and it shows when I discuss it) so do not require any oral arguments. If they ask for one I will stand by what is written.
I intend to sue also based on the Constitution and State law inequity of the OP which has led to multiple violations of my rights.
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Did you ever get in touch with Larry over at BuncyBlawg.com, Dean? I don’t know what it might mean that the court offered you the opportunity to have a hearing.
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Dean, check out the latest post, especially the quotation at the top.
https://restrainingorderabuse.com/2015/07/19/common-practices-in-restraining-order-trials-that-the-d-c-court-of-appeals-rejected-almost-20-years-ago/
The case in the post was one Larry tracked down.
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Let me correct it: I had an OP on him after his last time put me in the hospital with the domestic charge. His attorney pressured me into dropping it I was pregnant. We talked he threatened me and made an appointment for an abortion drove me 3+ Hours away for it. Then said he couldn’t be there for me emotionally until I dropped his charges. And after I got his charges dropped he quit talking to me so I begged him over text to tell me what was wrong. Got served the OP for “falsifying charges” not making any mention of the abortion or him sleeping with me and skyping me jacking off. He drives by constantly on duty and will slow down in front of my house. I got served in early May and him and his attorney are constantly asking for continuances. Last one was drawn up for 5 weeks. Told me to take a 6 month Op and I said no and they threatened to go after a two year one if I didn’t “accept this deal”.
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From what you’ve described, S., you’ve be treated cruelly, and, no, I wouldn’t hesitate if I were you to fight fire with fire. I think if you laid out everything to a judge, you might be able to obtain an order of your own. Like I said before, though, familiarize yourself with the law and understand going in that the initial impulse of the judge may be to deny you. You would probably want to explain there is a history of violence and that you were coerced (pressured) into withdrawing your allegations. You were used and manipulated, and now you’re being bullied (strong-armed) by a cop and an attorney, who are stretching out a prosecution to wear you down and get you to crumble. Take any and all evidence you have with you (including documentation of the clinic visit and the old court papers), and maybe try to reconstruct a log of the drive-bys. If you slept with the man while you were under a court injunction, that’s technically a violation which you could be faulted for (FYI). So consider carefully how you represent that and whether you want to mention it. A protection order is one-way (though I don’t know how any policeman could claim you “forced” him to have sex with you against the law).
These guys are playing a mind game on you. It’s abuse of the law to bully.
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Instead of educating people what not to do, informing people how they can stand up against these orders in court will be more effective in the long run. Matters of the first amendment and due process are usually fixed, matters of equity may vary between the states.. Mr. Chan above did wonders in Georgia through the state supreme court in terms of online speech, also in Georgia I affirmed in the trials courts the right to appeal them-being probably the only person in the united states prosecuted for appealing a civil case (20 months no bond, even after I beat my case as a matter of law). The federal case which I am presently prosecuting pro-se has multiple attacks on the statutes/forms for reasons of the 1rst, 2nd, 3rd, 5th amendment, as well as the state rules of equity. Granted not everyone here will know how to raise these points, many people may not be allowed to speak at at their own hearing, and state trial courts judges-despite the fact that a pro-se motion is to be construed liberally- will rarely give a respondent a chance.
when a judge for example issues an ex parte civil protection order restricting speech, the first thing a respondent should do is visit their federal attorney general’s office and press federal charges (18 usc 242) against the judge for violating the respondent’s due process rights. See Carrol v Princess Anne. This is the advocacy that is needed, but the USDOJ may be hesitant because they are the ones training the state trial court judges to violate the constitution to be pro-plaintiff through their OVW. It seems hard pressed that the gamesmanship of divorce (Illinois bar) is more of a compelling government interest than national security (new york times v united states) when it comes to prior restraints. Perhaps instructions on how to criminally prosecute a judge without a federal prosecutor would help-because judges have absolute immunity from acts done in office from civil cases.
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Your appeal was represented as “harassment,” Michael? Is your case chronicled online?
That’s funny. I was just thinking of running through the list of amendments to the Constitution of the United States and figuring how many are violated by these court procedures. Off the top of my head, see also the Sixth and Fourteenth.
To be honest, Michael, part of the effectiveness of “how-tos” is enlightening people on the outside of the process that this kind of stuff happens.
Would you like to prepare a post? You’d be welcome to pitch your recommendations here. I for one would like to know how to prosecute a judge!
Have you communicated with Larry at BuncyBlawg.com? He’s in North Carolina, but he’s recently filed many of the same types of responses you have. He’s a former attorney.
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Michael, this comment came in today from a lady in Illinois (“S.”) who’s looking for some orientation:
https://restrainingorderabuse.com/what-is-restraining-order-abuse/comment-page-5/#comment-73915
If you could spare her a sec, please do.
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I’m having a case of being harassed in IL. Had a prior OP and male subject was arrested for domestic on me. I was in the hospital. I’m 1/3 of his size. He took me to get an abortion pressured me into it and said he couldn’t be there for me until I begged the state to drop his charges. I did and he filed an OP saying I forced him into a relationship and I made up the charges which the injuries were documented. So now I’m fighting an OP on me. Clean criminal record.
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His neighbors are testifying against him and he drives by on duty often (he’s a cop) to harass me.
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Did you read through the post I provided a link to? According to the statute, if there’s a history of violent conflict, you should have no problem obtaining a “correlative separate order” even though your ex has an order against you.
Review the law, though, and understand it, because a judge’s reflex will be to say if the other guy has an order, you can’t have one.
But there is room for allowances in the law.
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What is an OP?
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Order of protection, probably. The critters are called different things in different states. They are called “no-contact” orders in the banana republic of NC, “keep-away” and “stay-away” orders and “emergency protection” orders in other states. The sleazy politicians who tap into this VAWA money pipeline from D. C. have no shame and plenty of imagination for the idiotic abbreviations and jargon they have used to abuse people like you and Todd in this industry.
Thus: PO, OP, NCO, RO, TRO, KAO, SAO, EPO, and so on ad nauseam.
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Ahh, yes. You are correct. RO’s are called different things in different states. I forgot about that.
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Order of protection (OP, OOP, PO, CPO, PPO, PFA…nauseated yet?).
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What was the nature of the violence, S.?
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He said I falsified his charges to maintain a relationship. There was a hospital report. And I restrained him. He’s a 230 lb plus cop I’m 90 lbs. I dropped it because I was pregnant my original Op
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Michael, thank you for the kind words. To be clear, I didn’t set out to be a “hero” of any kind nor was it necessarily altruistic reasons. Nevertheless, I was aware of that component and my case could potentially help many people. It gave me the clarity and determination to be creative and resourceful. I will be writing two titles on my experiences which will be released by the end of the year. The first one will be the human drama and craziness behind the scenes to make it happen. The second one will be a shorter report with the legalistic discussions.
I learned a lot and I had a great deal of influence in my own case because I strongly asserted certain points very early on. I did not win at the trial court level but my lawyers recognized that I laid a lot of the groundwork for a successful appeal.
There can never be an absolute recipe book to success in these matters. However there are tactics and strategies that increase the chances of success. It also helps a lot when the facts of the case don’t make you totally look like a shitbag. And if they do make you look like a shitbag, you better have some solid defenses and arguments to counter it. Lots of factors involved. Too many people are unable to be objective about themselves and defend stupid stuff. And unfortunately, a lot of poor personal decisions that only help the opposing side.
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Sorry for my absence, facebook wasn’t notifying me of updates. No one really wants to be the hero while as a defendant to effectively a state action-censorship is an action of the state or so Ayn Rand believes and I concur. Anyone wanting to be the hero should file injunction or declaratory relief, but even that may be difficult to obtain if a person doesn’t have standing.
I’d rather not say too things about the online media of the story which was organized heavily by the the state/fake victim and left wing looneys which became more of a human sacrifice [of me] to their political causes, and because the federal case is still ongoing and somehow the defendants have a right to a fair trial when they sure wasn’t giving me one I have to keep quiet-in fact doing so has helped during discovery. Thank you for the heads up in counsel as I am not expert on procedural matters and i have a panic disorder.
Regarding the situation in illinois, The following would reflect my view based upon a few hours research, and rulings could have changed over the years. I am not familiar with the state laws in Illinois so do your own research or get an attorney , and the applicable statute/code section seems to be quite long. http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000600HArt%2E+II&ActID=2100&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=500000&SeqEnd=4200000 . Nonetheless, the Illinois bar have named order or protections part of the gamemanship of a divorce as stated above-so we can assume they are given out like candy like most other parts of the country. These are the statutes concerning equity in Illinois, and notice that for general injunctions they don’t give any guidance-only to those issued without notice. http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=073500050HArt%2E+XI+Pt%2E+1&ActID=2017&ChapterID=56&SeqStart=78300000&SeqEnd=79500000. I am not a lawyer not am I familiar with Illinois law, however I did find this case law which spells out many of the traditional rules of equity being applied in Illinois [there are more, but it would require more research to see if Illinois recognizes them]: http://law.justia.com/cases/illinois/supreme-court/1984/58663-7.html . That a plaintiff must assert an irreparable injury and has not adequate remedy at law. However in illinois, it appears that they are allowed to go forward with an injunction even with a remedy at law-provided the state or federal congress has explicitly give it’s consent. Nonetheless they also held “In Illinois it has been recognized that an injunction is an extraordinary remedy which may be granted when the plaintiff establishes that his remedy at law is inadequate and he will suffer irreparable harm without the injunctive relief” and cited “[M]andatory injunctions are not favored by the courts and are issued only when the court determines that the urgency of the situation necessitates such action. “, ” As such, ‘[a] well-pleaded complaint praying for injunctive relief must contain on its face a clear right to relief and state facts which establish the right to such relief in a positive certain and precise manner., “”, and “These factual allegations must specifically establish the inadequacy of legal remedy and the irreparable injury the plaintiff will suffer without the injunction. ” the courts majority opinion closed with “Therefore, while plaintiff has stated a cause of action at law for a breach of her automobile’s full AMC warranty, she has not satisfied the pleading requirements which we find are necessary for a private litigant to state a cause of action for injunction under the Act. Accordingly, the judgment of the appellate court, affirming the circuit court’s dismissal of the plaintiff’s complaint for mandatory injunction, is affirmed.”
Without digging further into the case laws, It isn’t clear that Illinois statute 750 is a decision of the state legislature to substitute remedies made available by criminal statute with the laws of equity because they use the word “abuse”-which when you think about it, abuse could be construed to mean anything, even continuing to refuse to buy your kid a happy meal could be emotional abuse, giving a kid a time uot for bad behavior as emotional abuse, or taking a dip out of the voluntary college savings piggy bank to pay rent as financial abuse/neglect. If we were to draw Venn diagrams (two or more circles of listed items which may or may not overlap) of what is abuse, there should be no overlap between what is subject to injunctions v what is subject to the criminal statutes [or alternatively civil tort]-although criminal law and civil tort may overlap. If theoretically some overlap can occur, In Illinois it must be argued that the statutory remedy is not adequate-which can hardly be said when there are criminal remedies. Notwithstanding your exculpable evidence, If you did file your “OP” maliciously, either what he had pleaded whether was against you was perjury/false statements which there is a criminal remedy for or you had litigators immunity-and neither is subject to injunctions. Caution should be advised if you assert the proper route should be the criminal courts of the civil courts-he could choose to go that route. Notwithstanding, whether or not there was an adequate remedy at law, what was his irreparable injury that could only be relieved through an injunction? You’ll see what my theory is below. The question remains is, did he claim abuse? The term is so vague that he did. However, I don’t think he spelled out his true ambitions, as you said he is a 230 lb cop [with weapons and self defense training] and you are just 90 pounds. I think it was done perhaps preemptively for a petition to try to save his job for an internal affairs investigation. this doesn’t rise to the level of being extraordinary with you as a respondent, it my theory is right, it was purely speculative that the injunction he sought may have an impact on his continued employment and the injunction may not swing their decision one way or the other. An additional requirement for equity, which I didn’t see in this case law, is that the harm must be real and imminent and not merely the apprehension of some irreparable harm-which can be seen in Georgia case law. While it likely appears in other Illinois case law, I think you can tie that addition prong into the question of whether his injunction can be sought only through the issuance of the order even if the courts have not explicitly done so. If he provides proof of a municipal policy, custom, or practice, you may have a section 1983 monetary claim against the municipality.
When he sought a protection order against you, it is my theory that it was done at the request of a supervisor or police union, or just a lawyer in the background. When the original “OP” was placed against him, it more than likely took away his legal right to own a fire arm under [18 or 19] usc 922 and likely threatened his job or put him on some type of leave and internal affairs investigation. There is likely a union, a superior, or municipal policy that told him he needed to seek an injunction out on you and what to claim on it, and maybe you need to review ____ usc 922 further to see how/when they get their guns back. While you do have litigators immunity to file your own motions-because you can still be held hostage by a state in violation of your rights until a final disposition in your case-get a lawyer try to seek a motion to dissolve the order-if my speculation is correct there was no reason to enjoin you.
If the motion to dissolve doesn’t work, you may be able to seek a habeas filing against law enforcement and the orders or seek injuncti or declaratory relief against the order and law enforcement. Although is a case from the northern district of Georgia which is a completely different jurisdiction than illinois, try referring to anderson v dean for guidance. It is unlikely that you will have standing in the federal courts unless you exhaust all state remedies. http://www.leagle.com/decision/1973993354FSupp639_1883.xml/ANDERSON%20v.%20DEAN
While the North Georgia federal court upheld the contempt charges issued against a man for violating [another type of] prior restraint, the court ruled that the state court judge’s order was unconstitutional and prevented the sheriff from further executing it. This case is also full of court opinions including the us supreme court against these systems of prior restraints.
One more thing, contrary to the “new speak” or propaganda that is going on, it is his constitutional right to use the streets and even the sidewalks-with few limitations. It has been tried and tested in abortion protest law and even before then. Just your average respondent in family judicial circuit doesn’t have the money to find someone with multiple specialties.
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Do you know if you continue to write these types of “how to”, informational, and instructive blog posts, you will have enough content for a book or report. In fact, I have not read your earlier stuff. It is entirely possible you have enough content NOW for a skeleton our outline for a book. If you blog with a FOCUSED PURPOSE, not just random editorializing (although that could work also), you will have enough content for a book or report. Time to step up and do something more, Todd. You been at this long enough. You aren’t a newbie like the others. It is time to step up, teach others, and lead the way. If you don’t, then don’t complain when a guy like me comes in and starts spouting off on issues I allegedly don’t understand.
I am not going to chase all your blog posts and comments down. It is YOUR JOB to assemble your research and arguments to win me (and others) to your point of view. Make your case, help the world, and get paid for it.
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You mean pitch a proposal to an agent or editor?
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Don’t overthink this. At the most basic level, you could easily produce a PDF ebook using Microsoft Word and a free PDF generator like CuteFTP. You put a Paypal link and tell people you will email the PDF ebook and then you manually email it to your customers.
This is a bootstrap, no-money, no-fuss approach. You go up from there.
I am not a believer in pitching anyone especially if you are unknown. It is a waste of time. There are plenty of self-publishing resources and info available but don’t get stuck on all that. Amazon’s CreateSpace is one prominent resource for one particular path.
I started in publishing by selling $20 reports nearly 14-years ago by typing up my content in Microsoft Word then printing them out and stuck them in a 3-ring folder. It was low-volume but it was my way of dipping my toes in the water. I lost no money on the project, I made money however small it was. I got the experience to do more.
Today, it is easier than ever to get into the self-publishing game. Microsoft Word, CutePDF, and a Paypal account.
Some might think there is a stigma with self-publishing but that is because they are uninformed and in the dark. There is very little stigma nowadays. IN any case, I never let the “stigma” bother me because I knew who my audience was.
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It’s a thought. What would the aim be?
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Todd, you are killing me. You are a smart guy, literate, had higher education, read many books in your life, and have access to the Internet. You allegedly know about ROA than any visitor here. You have full access to all your search logs, all posts, all reader questions and comments. Surely, you must have a clue. Figure it out! And if you can’t figure it out, experiment or ask your audience. Stop being your own worst enemy.
If you can figure out what to write in blog posts, you should be able to figure out what might be a helpful PDF report. I can probably figure out a few ideas to start with by just browsing your website in a few hours. But I am not going to do it. You need a serious jolt and practice into altering your mindset. It begins by DOING SOMETHING and getting some self-inspiration. People can’t give you a roadmap on everything.
ROA is your baby, own it,
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If this is my baby, it’s a cuckoo: It threw the real baby out of the nest.
What I know is the only thing that would be profitable would be a “defense” course.
Otherwise I just don’t know what the value would be: longer treatment of a single topic? broader propagation of counter-feminist propaganda? the “legitimacy” of print?
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Todd, nowadays, the art and science of “publishing” is largely not issues of logistical “how to’s”, “production issues”, or “startup costs” anymore. There used to be all kinds of excuses and obstacles of why people couldn’t publish because old school publishing did cost some amount of money and there were many logistical issues to overcome as well as the stigma of self-publishing. Today, all that has changed. The self-publishing industry is huge and there is all kinds of information and resources that instruct people how to approach it. I’ve written two books on the subject published in 2009 as the “TurnKey Publisher” series. By the time I explain and outline all my views and then try to convince you of the validity, I could have used that time to complete 50% of the project myself.
Because I am ramping up my publishing business again and many people know it, it is generating more interest in “how” and what I am going to do. And honestly, when I tell people “how to” do it, it is inevitably not enough because i am spending too much time and energy explaining the mindset, dealing with THEIR self-doubt/self-confidence issues, helping them find their voice (which sometimes never happens). I inevitably end up becoming a personal counselor trying to work all these mind-block issues.
Honestly, no way I can connect all the dots here, by email, or by phone. I have done all these things in the last decade for so many people and my track record of “convincing” and encouraging other people is poor. That means I am a shitty coach and I have to accept that. I am a do’er not a counselor or coach. It is not my job to care more about THEIR project. It is not my job try to convince them that THEIR project is valid and has merit or market value. It is not my job to do all the mental work to connect the dots.
Believe me, I have lead many horses to water but many just don’t want to or unable to drink the water. I had nothing to sell to them and very little to gain by doing so except that it might help a friend/acquaintance. But those efforts have largely been a failure. Nearly 13 years since I got into the publishing business and so many people who are smarter, wealthier, more talented, more articulate, more knowledgeable, etc. than me. I am the guy with 20 titles that still reap the benefits of the work from years past. And I am the guy getting ramped up again. I will start off “slow” and have two or three titles completed by the end of the year and start reaping benefit from those projects also.
From 2003-2009, I published, edited, or wrote 20 titles doing it PART-TIME. Certainly, many of them did not sell well but that is mostly because I was stretched too thin to do marketing well but they generated sales nonetheless to this very day. I intentionally turned down many marketing opportunities because I didn’t like the people who approached me. I don’t work with sleazy people. I figured out the logistics for myself and got a great deal of mental clarity, then I went to work.
But too many people are simply stuck in the quicksand of their own psychological, self-doubt, skepticism, indecision, and any number of reasons, to get working. I have tried to enlighten you and bring you to the water but it is now incumbent on YOU to find reasons and take the initiative to do what it takes vs. finding reasons and obstacles to inhibit you. If you can’t find sufficient reasons to do it, that is perfectly okay. You can lead a happy life without ever publishing. You can blog for free for the next 10 years if that what makes you happy. I blog for free too but I am not limiting my writing to FREE WRITING. I still believe in PAID WRITING.
For me, publishing is a calling. I have a voice, I have something to say, and I am willing to put my reputation on it. I try to make every project relevant and profitable. I do my projects with a very low budget. Most importantly, I enjoy the benefits of the accolades, income, prestige, recognition, respect, credibility, and opportunities it opens up.
I am not yet famous or wealthy but I do have a lot of mental clarity, focus, determination, and a risk taker. This is why I produced 20 titles in years past while so many people can’t even get 1 project off the ground. They lack the right mental and psychological tools and mindset to make things happen.
It is all up to you to chart a course. You have to be willing to bumble around during the journey. That is how you learn. But you seriously need to work through your own mental blocks. It all starts at the keyboard with Microsoft Word. Only you can decide if the benefits of moving forward outweigh the work and obstacles involved. And to be clear, they are largely mental and psychological obstacles.
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This is very good stuff you are sharing. You are bringing to light a lot of things very few people know, including myself. In fact, this information is quite valuable and needs to be documented into a report, paper, book, etc. No one but you can do this because YOU have all the info and history.
If you truly want to make a difference and raise the profile of the issues, you have to step up and elevate the status of that information. The highest social status of information comes in the form of books, whitepapers, and reports. Blog posts are great to disseminate information but it is limited in perception of its status.
Do you simply want to remain an unnamed blogger on this issue or are you willing to become a named expert author on the issue? Your choice. I think you know what I would do.
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Something I’d considered is offering to let someone chronicle the appeal that you’ve encouraged in return for funding the incidental costs. This could also be an entree into a book, I guess.
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I hate to be blunt but no one is likely to pay you to chronicle your story unless you are a very good salesperson and persuasive.
I have confidence in what I do but even I don’t have confidence to believe anyone would pay me to chronicle my story. I am going to have to write my own story and then sell it.
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I’ve stopped answering calls from numbers I don’t recognize, but according to my phone and a Google query, the brother of a U.S. attorney just called me from New Jersey. No voicemail.
A few months ago, a master sommelier and entrepreneur out of California phoned. No voicemail.
I have no idea if I’ve missed promising opportunities…or sales pitches from telemarketers.
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As a general rule, people who are credible and have a legitimate purpose will email you or otherwise identify themselves to you. And people who don’t leave you a voice message, it is either not urgent, they are fishing, or simply not confident enough in their position to do so. Legitimate members of the press or any other concern will not simply call you and NOT leave messages. That is not how they work.
When I was contacted for the 11Alive.com call after my legal victory, the reporter left a clear respectful message for me to call him back. He wanted my story and was not shy about it. I’ve had other people who want to work with me or be affiliated with me due to the credibility of my real estate books and they all identify themselves by email. I have done other minor press over the years on various topics over the years. Everyone that is credible identifies themselves. They don’t cold call without leaving a message.
Years ago, I would frequently receive random calls from strangers asking for my help in their copyright infringement issue. It would always “just be 5-10” minutes but, in reality, it was never that because there was a steep learning curve to the issue. I put a stop to that altogether by not answering the phone nor returning the calls.
The point I am making is, you have missed very little.
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Yeah, I think that’s right. I don’t even really understand the urge to bait someone into picking up or to bait someone into emailing. I know my accuser, and I know that if any of this nonsense originates with her or her family (I have a phone log of calls from various places going back months), the urge is no paper trails or trackbacks. This was the urge that started all of this in the first place for me.
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