April 16, 2014
Restraining orders are maliciously abused—not sometimes, but often. Typically this is done in heat to hurt or hurt back, to shift blame for abusive misconduct, or to gain the upper hand in a conflict that may have far-reaching consequences. There’s a cooler, more methodical style of abuse practiced by people who aren’t in intimate daily proximity […]
April 7, 2014
“Stalking acts are engaged in by a perpetrator for different reasons: to initiate a relationship (i.e., Some call it stalking; [he or] she calls it courtship); to persuade/coerce a former partner to reconcile; to punish, frighten, or control the victim; to feel a sense of personal power; to feel a ‘connection’ to the victim; or some combination of all of the […]
April 3, 2014
“Court is perfectly suited to the fantasies of someone with a personality disorder: There is an all-powerful person (the judge) who will punish or control the other [person]. The focus of the court process is perceived as fixing blame—and many with personality disorders are experts at blame. There is a professional ally who will champion […]
March 30, 2014
“The term ‘high conflict person’ has been popularised relatively recently in legal texts and general discourse to describe those people with certain behavioural clusters who are often observed in legal disputes. This is not meant to suggest that it is a new phenomenon. On the contrary, vexatious individuals and difficult clients are not new to […]
March 29, 2014
Under the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), our courts and police districts are awarded hefty federal grants (averaging $500,000) in return for having their officers (judges and cops) “educated” about how to respond to allegations of fear or violence. Allegations made pursuant to the procurement of a restraining order, per the terms of these grants, […]
March 29, 2014
“I am the victim of false accusations [by] a female with sociopathic tendencies. She stabbed my husband [and] threatened to kill me, but for whatever reason filed for a domestic violence protective order on me. I value respect from people, so I do and act morally to maintain my relationships, but because any given person, […]
March 28, 2014
“Accounting for the discrepancy between the empirical data and current public policy has been the gender paradigm (Dutton and Nicholls 2005), also known as the patriarchal paradigm (Hamel 2007b), a set of assumptions and beliefs about domestic violence that has shaped domestic violence policy on arrest, treatment, and victim services at all levels for the […]
March 26, 2014
“As a male victim of domestic violence, my voice was never heard by any responding police officer. In fact, when they arrived my batterer made false allegations against me [that] led to my arrest. Three years later, the Eloy Police Department settled out of court, admitting wrongdoing. Still, I lost my career, my name, and […]
March 25, 2014
“If there is one theme that emerges from all of the recommendations in this report, it is vigilance—everyone involved in the criminal justice system must be constantly on guard against the factors that can contribute to miscarriages of justice….” —Canadian Department of Justice It’s more than a little disturbing to this writer that a “Report […]
March 22, 2014
“Everyone lies to me.” —University of Arizona police officer The willingness of false accusers to lie to authorities and the courts—and of some authorities and officers of the court to lie—is a tough pill to swallow, especially for those who learn about it the hard way, as have many of those who visit or have […]
March 21, 2014
“At 7:30 a.m., an unknown male abducted Pamela at knifepoint while she fueled her car at a convenience store. The offender then forced her to drive to a bridge, where they crossed into a neighboring state. During the long ride, he choked her with a bicycle security chain and slashed her with a knife. “Next, […]
March 19, 2014
“[Narcissism] is, in my opinion, the single most damaging and maladaptive tendency seen in sociopaths. When taken to extremes, it can lead to seriously abusive patterns of behavior that are repulsive and idiotic, both from any sort of ethical perspective and from the perspective of sheer self-interest. It is also fundamentally misunderstood. The word ‘narcissist’ […]
March 15, 2014
In the last post, I discussed how lying is generally gotten away with beneath the radar. What people who’ve blessedly had no personal experience with fraudulent abuse of legal process fail to grasp is (1) there’s no incentive to expose untruths except (perhaps) when they’re used to frame people for crimes for which they stand […]
March 12, 2014
I’ve earnestly and objectively examined posited rates of false allegations in recent months, because statistics and analytics are what we soonest regard as estimates of the truth. It’s typical of writers hostile to the notion that false allegations are rampant, as well as of legal analysts and social scientists, to cite such rates, particularly official […]
March 10, 2014
“Emotional distress as the result of crime is a recurring theme for all victims of crime. The most common problem[s], affecting three quarters of victims, [include] fear, anxiety, nervousness, self-blame, anger, shame, and difficulty sleeping. These problems often result in the development of chronic post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).” —Wikipedia, “Victimology” Restraining orders are governmentally advertised […]
March 8, 2014
“Victim playing (also known as playing the victim or self-victimization) is the fabrication of victimhood for a variety of reasons such as to justify abuse of others, to manipulate others, a coping strategy, or attention seeking.” —Wikipedia, “Victim playing” Once again I’m prompted to note that Wikipedia is all over motives for restraining order abuse […]
March 6, 2014
It’s been posited, and I believe this is true, that women who are genuinely in fear only obtain restraining orders in dire extremity. Ironically, who posits this are deniers of high rates of false allegations. If they’re right about the reluctance of abused women to seek intervention—and as I’ve said, I believe they are—what accounts […]
March 3, 2014
I’ve just corresponded with another victim of tag-teaming involving false allegations made to authorities and the court that were augmented and exacerbated by false rumors and group threats made on Facebook, hyped protestations of fear and danger circulated among friends and family, etc. This moved me to investigate whether there’s a label for this kind […]
March 1, 2014
“Can anything be done when someone constantly gets TROs [temporary restraining orders] falsely…?” —Search term leading to this blog This conduct is properly labeled harassment and stalking, and (absurdly) deterrence of this conduct is properly achieved by applying to the court for a restraining order. The court may be resistant to acknowledging that this sort […]
February 28, 2014
There was a story out of England last summer about a Zimbabwean refugee, a mom, who clashed with a neighbor over a parking place—a parking place—shortly after moving into her cul-de-sac. The dispute was brief but inspired the neighbor to begin accusing her of crimes. She called the police and claimed the Zimbabwean woman had […]
February 24, 2014
I was concerned to see that someone was brought to this site recently by the search term “Tara Palmatier [X].” I’ve omitted the final word of the phrase not because it’s vulgar but because I don’t want an anomalous Google query to put an idea into the head of some crank with too much time […]
February 15, 2014
People—brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends, lovers, spouses, exes, and strangers—abuse women with false restraining orders for the same reason rapists abuse women: because they can. And the reason why women are so easily abused by malicious prosecutors is that the restraining order process is the bowling alley of jurisprudence. Set ‘em up, knock ‘em down. […]
February 12, 2014
The prevalence of false allegations of rape is contested. What isn’t contested by anyone is that false allegations of rape are made, and what shouldn’t be contested by anyone is that false allegations of rape (and any number of other offenses) are heinous lies that may end life as they knew it for the falsely […]
February 9, 2014
My last post addressed the case of a mom who’s been accused of serial rape by the father of one of her children. Ignore whether it’s okay to allow a man’s record to be contaminated with an uncorroborated allegation of rape scrawled on a restraining order application—an allegation, incidentally, that will ruin his life (there’s […]
February 7, 2014
“I have known my ex since 2007, and our relationship was never easy. I stood with him during the affairs, the lies, whatever…. We had a child in 2009, and then the violence started…. After the last failed mediation in Nov[ember] 2012, he again wanted to get back together, [and] I was hit with a […]
See this post, especially, which summarizes much of what these topical editorials concern and may be of value to anyone desperate to explain to a family member, friend, significant other, teacher, spiritual adviser, counselor, employer, attorney, or journalist how s/he’s been wrongly represented and injured. Few people who haven't been abused by them know restraining orders are abused; fewer still how they’re abused or why.
Those with restraining order cases pending are prompted to consult the blog’s Q & A page. Corrections to its author’s interpretations and grudging knowledge, incidentally, are always welcomed.
Since laws concerning restraining orders, their implementation and customs, and different means to combat them can vary from state to state, visitors are also urged to investigate and familiarize themselves with the rules that obtain in their home jurisdictions.
They’re further urged to secure the counsel of a qualified, reliable, and ethical attorney if at all within their means (some do exist).
The restraining order racket is a rigged game that tends to reward inveterate liars and their invertebrate minions.
The truth won’t set you free.
It shouldn't be this easy to make a judge your bully.